Compliments of Shakespeare
A poem inspired by Shakespeare’s insults
You poisonous, slimy, bunch-backed toad,
you coward, beggar, shallow rogue –
your villainous smell offends my nose!
You’re rank, you make me sick.
You elvish, starveling, stinky hog,
if only you’d been born a dog
I’d like you more.
But no. Instead, you’re like a sore,
you’re like a boil I’d like to pop.
You’re speaking but I wish you’d stop.
You’re lily-livered, knotty, proud,
your February face is full of cloud –
you’re lumpy, foul, all froth and scum.
I have to say I think your bum
is the best thing about you.
Copyright: from Dear Ugly Sisters (Otter-Barry, 2020), © Laura Mucha 2020, used by permission of the author